And Now My Heart Is Full
Smallest Audience Yet
Tonight may have been my smallest audience yet.
Just five people.
Three gay guys who came in one group. A guy who came solo. And one more guy from Jack’s show who I convinced to stay as he was exiting up the stairs.
But I really connected with two of them.
The straight, older, buff guy who stayed from Jack’s show.
And the pretty guy from the gay group.
The straight guy, especially. He wasn’t self-conscious, but engaged. I could tell his mind was totally blown by some of my insights about the performance of gender.
The pretty gay guy, though, despite his two friends talking loudly at times (did they want to leave, and he convinced them to stay?) — his attention never wavered. He was riveted. He looked me in the eyes as he was leaving. He threw in an extra ten pounds donation, even though his friend before him already threw in a twenty.
It's fine, he said.
Tonight was my smallest audience this Fringe thus far. But it’s the one that’s made my heart feel the most.
Tonight, I spent a great deal of time just staring at the wall across the loo, with all of our posters. I feel so much at this moment, looking at my fellow PBH Street performers. We didn't hang. But we shared this moment.
As Artists.